ASPERGER'S SYNDROME
AND HOW IT CONTROLS MY LIFE
So, in my very first blog post on here, I touched on the fact that my husband had Asperger's syndrome. For those who don't know what it is, it is a high functioning form of autism. While he hasn't been "officially" diagnosed with it, I have read and researched enough to know that this is the reason he is SO difficult and why so much of my life is controlled by his idiosyncrasies. Ok, for all us women out there we can say that all of our husband's suffer from being odd, annoying and down right confusing sometimes but my husband takes it a bit further. Don't get me wrong, he holds a job and works very hard for his family but that's as far as it goes. If he is focused on his job, then he loses focus at home. So me, being the infamous stay at home mother, needs to take care of every other task in life. And we already know how I feel about chores and the like. He has a hard time focusing on a project at hand, never finishes anything he has started and I am convinced does not know how to tell time at all. Let me give you a peek into my Asperger's controlled life..
A typical Saturday consists of trying to plan a day out with the family. No matter what we do or where we go, it is the same routine. Basically he has to get himself ready. Period. End of story. Just take a shower, get dressed and be on his way. But each and every Saturday it's like a surprise to him that he needs to put his shoes on to leave the house. He is shocked every time I ask him if there's enough gas in the MINI VAN (Ahhh...the mini van...another gripe of mine, but that's for another post) and while Megan and I are ready to walk out the door, there is with a face filled with shaving cream or running around trying to find his wallet that I ALWAYS put in the same place for him. It's frustrating and overwhelming and for 10 years, it has been the SAME ROUTINE. This past Saturday I took a new approach. I put my daughter in the car and I left. We only got around the block when my cell phone rang. "Where are you?" "Why did you leave?" Ummm..REALLY?? I thought this would teach him a lesson. But when I drove back around to get him, he was sweeping. SWEEPING! I drive myself insane trying to understand the mechanics of his brain when he doesn't even want an official diagnosis. Even my 5 year old asks him why he "can't focus."
It's been a LONG, HARD road for us. I try to understand what it's like for him but no one tries to understand what it's like for ME. So last semester I took a class called, Communication Through New Media. We had to create a project using an internet media tool to get our point across. So I created a facebook page for the SPOUSES of people who suffer from Asperger's Syndrome. Because, WHAT ABOUT US?? And surprisingly, it took off. I'd like to share it here because something that I thought was so rare, apparently is not rare at all. My entire purpose of this blog and my Asperger's fb page is to try to connect to at least one person. Someone who is going through the same difficulties but either can't or won't voice them. It took me a long time to understand the fact that I too am human. And now that I am at this point, admitting where I am unhappy or where I feel like I have failed myself in life, I hope I can touch other people's lives as well, in some way.
If you want, take a look at my fb page. You don't have to "like," you can just look around.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Support-for-Spouses-of-People-with-Aspergers-Syndrome/176713169059829?sk=info
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